5:37 AM

I can't sleep. I normally get up at around this time, yes, but the fact is that I have been up for hours. I am posting this because I need something to do.

I am caught in a swirl of excitement and utter nervousness. The excitement is understandable, but the nervousness maybe less so. It stems from the fact that this change is so big for me. I am leaving journalism behind to go work with one of the three (well, two, really) major cellular service providers on improving the performance of their mobile games division. Actually, I will be their mobile games division... that's quite a difference to what I was doing when I was with the U-team.

It's not that I don't think I can do the job. I know that I can. Still, though, it's the irrational, nagging doubt that's getting to me. It's sort of like when, even though you have been monogamous for years and use a condom every time, you still crap yourself when waiting for an AIDS test result. It's exactly that stupid, horrid fear.

A large part of my nervousness comes from the travel requirement. I am not going further to get to the new job, but I am going to be on roads I have never travelled, heading to a place I have never been too. The trusty map book is being dragged along, that's for sure. I hope the traffic flows. I hope I am not late. I hope my bike doesn't break down, because it's been doing that lately.

5:43. The sky is slowly starting to change colours. I will probably be leaving soon, even though I only have to be there at 9:00. I will probably end up waiting in the parking lot for an hour, or sitting at a (hopefully) nearby coffee shop trying to calm my nerves. I have no appetite and, despite not sleeping for the second night in a row, I am wired. Ha ha. No longer Unwied, eh?

It's just a matter of getting through today. The first day is always the worst. Once today is done, I will be able to breath a sigh of relief. For now I will just have to count to ten, take a deep breath, and tell myself that change is good (while I listen to the shards of my comfort zone clatter and crash around me.)

5:47. Think I need another cup of coffee.